Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
