It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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