Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
