Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
