no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
