They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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