Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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