you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
