So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My dick has a subreddit
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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