Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
