dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
