you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
