Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
