your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I met the friendliest cop last night
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Randomize
