Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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