just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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