How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
