I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize