I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
