ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
