hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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