Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
