I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
