Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
