I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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