True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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