Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
