it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
