Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
