Yo dont text me then not text me
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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