This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
