forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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