Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize