I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
