I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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