So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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