dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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