We're like a lot better than the average bears
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
