No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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