Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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