Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Randomize
