so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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