We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
