sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize