Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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