He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
