first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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