Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
