Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
