So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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