David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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