We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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