I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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