I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
