If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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