meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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