we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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